The Kitty Twister
Malboro | Goblet Ward 14 Plot 8
Where Corn Don't Grow
I finished my cocktail and twisted my nose as the syrup from the bottom of the glass shocked my tastebuds. The DJ had been talking over their own music for the last 20 minutes and I was less than amused. My manager was lost in conversation with the bartender for God knows how long while her partner dozed off on my shoulder. I started questioning my life choices, existence itself, and where I had gone wrong in the last seven years when suddenly my manager shouted,
“So where do you want to go next?”
I snarkily replied, “Literally anywhere else.”
“Want to go to a honkytonk?” Her partner jumped up immediately, eyes beaming and full of excitement. They clearly knew something I didn’t.
“A what?”
“Oh, you’ll see.” Before I could even think of a reply, her tiny Au Ra hand latched onto one of my ear clips and started dragging me outside of the club.
I Love This Bar
Red bricks lined the alleyway that stretched ahead of us. Peeling posters hung on for dear life and the ones that didn’t lay crumpled on the ground next to abandoned bottles of liquor and dust. I spotted an inconspicuous barrel. During my interview with the staff, I was told that their first greeter was a hobo named, “Yoyo The Grouch” who lived inside that barrel. He’d welcome guests, hand them a dirty menu and usher them downstairs. Brilliant. The sound of laughter and glasses clinking could be heard from the nearest doorway and it was clear where the party was.
It was “five-card poker on a Saturday night.” Moonshine, square dancing, Southern accents, and the cries of electric guitars. Boots stomped and twirled to the rhythms of country classics playing on the jukebox. As I peered over the banister, I felt a certain “magic” in the air that I still can’t quite fully describe.
So, the best comparison I can relate to is the sitcom, Cheers. The part in the intro song “Where everyone knows your name”, is a good summary of the Kitty Twister. You walk in, everyone is throwing so many dotes at you and yelling at you to come on down and join the fun.
- Suna’a Griever (a regular at KT)
It was truly magic in motion.✨
I eventually locked eyes with my manager who had a terrible smirk on her face. As I approached the bar to order a drink I learned she already signed us all up for the Meal or No Deal Challenge. Before we delve into that, let’s talk about the menu first!
The Menu
Eats, Mixes, Spirits, Shines, and Beers oh my!
The menu here is absolutely fitting to the country theme and not bloated with options. Short and sweet with a few seasonals, just how I like it!
You can find some Southern staples here like a nice crawfish boil or some apple pie moonshine!
NOTE: Moonshine and House Ales are crafted locally at Kitty Twister’s Brewery and Distillery not too far from the venue!
The real star of the show here however, is the Meal or No Deal Challenge!
How Bad Do You Want It?
Lea Pipkin, our server and challenge referee, kindly found an extra chair and sat our entire party down at the nearest table. I love a good burger as much as the next Eorzean, but how hungry was I? Could I scarf down this giant burger in 10 BITES?
COULD I END UP IN THEIR HALL OF FAME
❗❓
COULD I END UP IN THEIR HALL OF FAME ❗❓
No.
My left eye started to burn from the sweat that rolled off my brow. The growing crowd surrounding the table cheered me on as I barely put down bite number 9. “One more bite, one more bite!” they all chanted. I stood up and tried to take some deep breaths which quickly turned into the wheezes of a drowning rubber chicken. I was fine (I wasn’t fine). My friends at the table applauded as I sat back down and all eyed the final morsel of the Meal or No Deal Challenge. Without any further delay, I shoved the last bit of burger in my mouth and chewed.
Gulp.
My eyes watered and I coughed out most of the undigested burger onto the table. The lights in the room began to fade to black and I slid out of my chair onto the floor. As it all went dark the only thing I could hear was the distant echoes of…
Where did you come from?
Where did you go?
Where did you come from, Cotton-Eyed Joe?
None of us succeeded that day. One by one we fell like dominoes in rapid succession. The crowd pinched their noses and looked on in disgust as they brought the mops out.
By the Twelve, it’s a slaughter.
- Petra Karingar (a regular at KT)
It's fun to stay at the Y.M.C.A.
What Type of Music is Nashville Known For? by Jillian Wyatt
Growing up my mom blasted music on Saturday and Sunday mornings while she would do things around the house. Some of her top picks were Shania Twain, Faith Hill, The Eagles, Reba McEntire, and plenty more. I couldn’t help but feel the waves of nostalgia rush over me while listening to the Jukebox and dancing with my friends.
As a DJ even though I don’t play country music during my sets, I appreciate its roots and continued contribution to music over the centuries. In the United States, Nashville, Tennessee is regarded as the birthplace of country music but also Bluegrass, Rock, Blues, Indie Rock, and more.
At the Kitty Twister, the Jukebox is actually a Twitch channel run by its co-owners Teagan Paige Hale and Toshinari Yagi.
Have any unplanned traditions started since your launch?
TEAGAN: Every time Cotton Eye Joe comes on the jukebox we all line-up, and do /stepdance.
TOSHINARI: And our closing song is ALWAYS Tim McGraw's Humble and Kind.
Living Easy, Lovin’ Free
“As the midnight death knell tolls, so too does it toll for your embrace. This night is a symbol of dedication… mayhaps even a feverish obsession with one another. A promise.. To forever accept the tidings of this depraved world, for better or for worse. Together, your dark power will grow to greater heights… together you will face your trials, and obliterate them into the abyss.”
This excerpt is from a goth-themed wedding script written by Teagan for a lovely couple’s wedding! The Kitty Twister has its own wedding chapel called the Kitty Hitcher built by Rem Rems for those looking for a more personalized experience for their special day. This wonderful addition to the venue not only adds to its charm but also creates unforgettable memories for the community!
"Lea and Ilysian, by the power vested in me that big feller back there that ain’t no longer a Lion Daddy, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Pucker on up an' give each other some sugar!"
This is my favorite excerpt from Lea and Ilysian’s Las Vegas Chapel Elvis-themed wedding. In addition to The Kitty Hitcher, there are many other features to the venue for the community to explore!
Lea runs an illegal gambling den within KT called the Kitty Risker! If you feel like rolling the dice in the back store room, don’t forget to bring your flask! May Nymeia's wheel of fate be on your side!
Speaking of spirits, I mentioned earlier that the KT brews its own ales and distills moonshine. You can actually explore the KT Brewery & Distillery at any time of the day, it’s just a short walk away. I highly recommend joining the Discord server to keep in touch with the KT family and receive notifications for future events like Movie Night! Yes, KT has its own Movie Theater to add to your viewing experience!
The Kitty Twister
We sat, talked, and laughed for hours.
During the interview, regulars came by despite the venue being closed. As Teagan put it, this was quite normal if any of the KT family are online and at the venue. People just show up and when they do you can bet someone starts up the jukebox!
TEAGAN: Everyone that walks in the door gets greeted. We tell them "C'mon in an' make yerself at home! You can plant yer keester anywheres ya like, or you can sashay right on out to that there dance floor!"
The Kitty Twister started in Toshinari Yagi’s apartment on March 18, 2022. Since then, they’ve grown quickly and now reside in a Medium sized plot in the Goblet.
The venue’s name is a reference to the bar, “Titty Twister” from the 1996 movie, From Dusk Til Dawn, written by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Kurtzman.
“THAT BEING SAID....We are 100% a SFW venue.”
🚨
“THAT BEING SAID....We are 100% a SFW venue.” 🚨
TOSHINARI: Well, I'm the co-owner, along with Teagan. I started out as the sole owner but slowly came to realize I couldn't have done half of this without my business partner. So I just started calling her the other owner, since it's her baby as much as it is mine.
My idea for this place came from my becoming obsessed with different venues and clubs for a time because I thought they were pretty dang fun, to be honest. Then I slowly started to realize that the only music being played was techno, rave, and party stuff and I quite often turned it off and listened to my own instead.
I thought, “Surely, I can’t be the only one who gets tired of listening to the same genre over and over.” I knew that NOBODY was playing country music, rock n’ roll, or anything older a couple of years ago.
I can tell you so many stories about a stranger blowin' in like a tumbleweed, just leaning against the wall, ending up making great friends, and participating in RP every night we are open.
TEAGAN: I'm Teagan! Teagan Paige Hale! I'm jus' a country catte. Toshi and I been friends for ...well, since shortly after he started playin’ I reckon. We met out in the RP community when I was a manager for a DJ and did a couple other projects. One day I was down on my luck and Toshi found me on the streets in Limsa. He invited me back to see his honkytonk I had been tryin’ to talk him into doing for months. Soon as I saw it, I fell in love. I immediately had all these great ideas, and after seein’ how excited I was, he offered me a job to manage it for him.
TOSHINARI: She followed me home and I couldn't shake her loose! 😂
TEAGAN: Ever since I've been kinda runnin' all the administrative stuff. I make all the logos, flyers, twitch overlays, and images. I coordinate with other venue owners working out affiliations, and collaborations and I work tables, tend the bar, hire and train staff and manage personnel. I also built our Carrd, and we all collaborate in coming up with all the different services we offer.
To me, there's nothing more important in Final Fantasy XIV than Kitty Twister and our KT family. I dedicate all my time and energy to making KT what it is today.
From DAY 1, I dragged Jimmy with me since he's my best good friend.
JIMMY: As Teagan said, we best good friends. I spent a lot of time going to the place she worked before and when she and Toshi were talking about starting the KT I happened to be around. I saw this idea of theirs start off small and from the beginning, I knew it was going to be something special. On their opening night, I was there to support them and noticed the venue got a LOT of attention. So, I just jumped in and helped and right then and there I became Employee Numero Uno.
What’s the most memorable bartending story you've had while working here?
JIMMY: I would say that there are almost too many stories to pick one specific one out. Being an open homey venue, we get all sorts of people and you get to hear all sorts of stories. If you think you won't fit in, I challenge you to come with an open mind and mingle and learn just how great the place is. I can't remember how many, but a lot of people have found friends and more at the Kitty Twister. A few of them have even proposed on the stage in front of everyone because the KT means so much to them.
I think it's a good thing Rems built the Kitty Hitcher. Friends and families share moments, good and sometimes bad, but always with the love of support of the people around. My many, many months at the KT have been filled with great experiences and meeting wonderful people. That's why it's so hard to pick just one moment. The Kitty Twister is the most memorable story as a whole.
REM: Hi! My character’s name is Rem! I have a background in XIV housing and helped decorate some of the KT and designed the upstairs alley. I also helped out in some of our other rooms and designed and built The Kitty Hitcher, our little chapel out back with Teagan giving me her amazing advice and help!
I've also spent about 2-3 years total working in XIV venues, cafes, and a spa doing floor manager work (waiting tables, serving drinks, chatting with guests, and making them feel at home).
I bring a little of all of that to the Kitty Twister as well! I visited the KT about 6 months ago and fell in love with it! It reminded me of places I went to as a kid to play pool, eat burgers and listen to music! I asked if I could work here and they said yes! It's been an absolute blast ever since and I do my best to make the staff, and guests feel like the KT is THEIR bar and not just another venue in FFXIV.
I'm always curious about the work it takes to run a place from one venue owner to the next. I think there is a thin line between "work" and "play" that’s easy to cross and get burned out. No doubt plenty of love and work went into KT to make it what it is today. Have you found the balance that works? If so do you have advice for other venue owners out there?
TEAGAN: From my experience running multiple venues, there are a couple of things that I've learned are most important.
First and foremost. When you're a venue owner, it's not about you. It's about your guests. If you're doing it for Final Fantasy Fame, then you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Your guests will know that your motivations aren't for their enjoyment, but for your own.
Second, you have to find fulfillment in the efforts that you are putting into it, even if no one is giving you feedback. If you are doing the work hoping someone will give you a pat on the back, then you aren't doing it for them, you're again, doing it for you and that's what burns people out, or makes people toxic.
When we get compliments, it means a lot to us, because we know that the entertainment we are providing them is making them happy, and it's gotta be a selfless endeavor.
TOSHINARI: Third, hire good staff that wants to come because it's fun for them, not just the ones who are doing it for a paycheck.
Meet the Staff
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I found out about KT through Toshi. When I was in a down place, I went to a club and started dancing with him. I found out about how the KT was just opened up a week before and he asked me to come on by. I did and despite not liking country music, I ended up enjoying my time there. I even started to enjoy the music they played.
I keep coming back cause of the people I met there. The friendships I made and the people who I care for and vice versa. I met some of the best people in my life there.
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I’m security at the Kitty Twister, former Bozjan merc and pathfinding explorer. Farthest thing from Southern having been born in the Steppes, but being able to pick up accents along the way sure helps to sell the image! Sometimes...
I found out about KT by literally scrounging through PF one night. I was bored and tired of raiding that night so I wanted to see something new with my wee gang of misfits. A couple months later and here I am...
I come back for the people and music wholeheartedly. It's not even the job. I just love the people here and this is coming from someone who didn’t always have a taste for country!
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I usually do the greeting here at the Kitty Twister and I greet everyone with a smile! After working hours, you'll find me in the kitchen whipping up some tasty grub or scribbling into some journals at my desk for my research. I learned about KT when a friend dragged me to the old Mist location. Now, I come back for the lovely atmosphere of the bar and the friendliness of my fellow staff members.
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My fiance, Bailthia Marith, saw a post for a honkytonk and decided that I was gonna take her! We stumbled upon a warm, welcoming home filled with kind-hearted people and I haven't been able to stay away since. In fact, I was here so much that I became a greeter and worked my way up to being Kitty Twister's newest waiter!
Humble and Kind
The Kitty Twister is a very special place. It’s a honkytonk and an RP venue first and foremost. Patrons have stories that carry on from night to night while others are now starting their own adventures. True Southern comfort, hearts of gold, and a family that welcomes you with open arms. I didn’t fully know what to expect before I stepped through those doors for the first time.
What I found was a masterclass in community building and a home for all who may seek one.
From the Owners:
The Kitty Twister is very special to us. Not just as staff, but as patrons too. We love that folks from all walks of life can come and mingle with folks they normally never would. So come on down to Kitty Twister and let us show y'all how to knock some dirt off yer boots honkytonk style!
Did You Know…
Teagan Paige Hale started playing Final Fantasy XIV during 1.0 and still has her Collector’s Edition box on her desk. Even though she didn’t stick around long enough to get the neck tattoo she’s been playing ever since patch 2.0!
Toshinari Yagi is a retired Army veteran and started playing Final Fantasy XIV about a year and a half ago (because of Asmongold, funnily enough). In true MMO fashion, Toshinari “basically no-lifes” one game at a time.
Lea Pipkin is also the creator of the Meal or No Deal challenge! This feat of strength was launched on June 19th, 2022. Four months and several challenges later Lea finally survived and joined many others on the Wall of Fame on October 26th!
